You probably went to grade school with a kid who always raised his hand, whether he was right or wrong, and you admired him for it. He’s probably the CEO of some successful startup now. The classic wisdom here is that if people never took chances, nothing would ever get done. But if you push it a step further, the sentiment becomes even more valuable: Smart people don’t fear being wrong because they know that being wrong is ultimately an instrument that pushes them closer to being right. When you’re testing out new products or new partnerships (or personal relationships), you have to know what works and what doesn’t – and the best way to know what doesn’t is to fail a few times. You might not have the no-fear attitude innately, but if you’re aware of and admire the value in it, you can build it up like a skill, and then it becomes a part of you.
We all love to personalize what goes on in our worlds, but smart people don’t make the assumption that everything is about them. This is a huge asset in both the personal and business realms. Where many of us obsess over “rejections” and ruminate on what we could have done differently, it’s more productive to realize that every disappointment or poor interaction is not actually about you. Sometimes it’s the just person on the other end of the phone call who’s having a bad day. Successful people realize that every little thing – bad or good – is not a reflection of them or their self worth. So try not to take the little things, at least, so personally. (Your ego will thank you.)
3. Being E-Ready Every Minute of the Day
We all feel the pull of technology, but all the research tells us that for the sake of our mental health, we need to push back a little. Smart people know that having a fulfilling life means having a life outside work, and making time for each. Obsessively checking work email at the dinner table is a good recipe for disaster. Sure, shit happens and sometimes the family will have to suffer for the sake of work, or vice versa, but these instances should be few and far between, and not a way of life. Being glued to your iPhone at family dinners or daytrips isn’t a good way of being. Psychologist Suzanne Roff-Wexler, PhD, says, “it’s so easy to take care of matters and any where and any time – but that’s the glitch!! Too much stimulation and connection can lead to more stress because it just doesn’t end.” So set some time where your phone is off, and your attention is on the people right in front of you.
4. Believing Therapy Is A Waste of Time
Anyone who had tricky or painful childhoods (which is a lot of us) should deal with these things in therapy. The fallout of not getting to the bottom of your stuff can affect not only your personal life, but your professional life as well. “Not only do successful people not fear therapy, they embrace it,” says founder of Cliffside Malibu Treatment Center, Richard Taite, who’s seen the fallout of when the super-successful don’t deal with their stuff – the result is often addiction, marital problems, even self-sabotage. “The only way you can become your best self is to get the bottom of the issues that are blocking you,” he says. “Most negative cycles that people are in are unconscious. You ever hear someone say, ‘I just don’t know why ____ keeps happening’? Well, that’s because they are stuck in an unconscious negative pattern of behaviors and they can’t see it BECAUSE it’s unconscious. Successful people recognize that there’s a problem, and turn to psychotherapy to help them break it. Psychotherapy is a tool that creates success. Smart people use it.”
5. Skipping the Gym Because You Don’t Have Time/Hate It.
There are actually two points crammed into one here. Exercise for mental (and physical) health is a no-brainer – and smart, well-rounded people know that. But they don’t just go to the gym, and they’re not just active because they should be: They do physical activities they actually really truly love during their downtime – swimming, skiing, rock-climbing, tangoing – and they build it into their schedules. That makes exercise something to look forward to, not to dread.
6. Thinking That De-Stressing Is For Wimps
De-stressing is pretty much non-negotiable, especially now, in the age of the 24-hour workday. If you don’t take time to de-stress your brain, something’s going to snap, mentally or physically. (And even if you don’t have a stress-induced breakdown, chronic stress leads to all kinds of serious health problems.) Successful people internalize that reality, and build time for de-stressing into their lives. So, mediate, run, walk, do yoga, swim, write, knit, dance, take a long drive. Whatever it is that allows your brain to relax and reboot, make sure you do it at least once a day.
7. Believing That You’re Smarter Than Everyone Else
The ultimate advice, care of Forbes writer David DiSalvo, is that smart people know they can always improve upon themselves and they always embrace the opportunity to do so. “Smart people never assume they are the smartest people in the room,” says DiSalvo. “That sort of assumption is really just contempt in disguise, and it leads to undervaluing and underestimating coworkers, relationships partners, and any one else in an interpersonal context. Instead, smart people assume that they can learn something from anyone, and they provide others with opportunities to ‘tell their stories,’ which a genuinely smart person knows are likely to contain experiences and knowledge that will enrich their perspective.”
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